Elden Ring is huge and brimming with all sorts of terrifying creepy crawlies that are apparently designed to make your stay in Elden Ring Runes the Lands Between as unsettling as possible. However, the creatures that keep making me most nervous are also the most common.

It occurred to me as I was dispatching Elden Ring boss Astel, Naturalborn of the Void--a "malformed star capable of calamitous destruction" which looks a lot like the Mr. DNA mascot from Jurassic Park was reimagined as an eldritch abomination--at the climax of the game's infamous Lake of Rot swamp. I'd identified the timing on the only really dangerous attack in its arsenal, but was just doing the rounds before I realized that I was having an less trouble overcoming this terrifying creature than during the battles against Elden's authentic nature.

Okay, sure, "realistic" might not be the most appropriate word to describe monster bears that look as Popeye and the Sailor Man, alpha wolves that use magic soul arrows, and birds with swords strapped to their feet however it's the closest thing Elden Ring has to regular animals, aside from cheap Elden Ring Items those hilarious sheep that roll around that I mentioned earlier, so let me give you some time.